Oh vey....

99.9% of me does not want to write this.  1% of me knows I need to because of the amount of messages I have gotten, and the rather long absence I have had from, well everything.  And part of committing to a blog, to this journey, was to be real.  Life ain't all unicorns and fairies and certainly since November it has not been.

So where to start, or even do I?  I don't think anyone needs more baggage, more problems to read about, and quite frankly I feel guilty throwing up all over you with my drama....so instead I will keep it simple. Here is what I will say, I would not wish the last 6 months on anyone, ever ☹️  It's been crappy, it's been horrible.  It's definitely been the most trying 6 months of my life.

This is the point, right where you write something to the extent of "oh but I learned so much from all of this....I am stronger now...everything happens for a reason."  Yea, no.  In fact I am still not sure, what I think. But for what it's worth,  this is where I netted out.

1.  Someone or something does not give you struggles or strife to make you stronger, to teach you lessons, or because "you can handle it".  I don't believe God is up there saying, oh, she/he is tough, they can handle some serious shit, I'll give this to them.  No.  Life just happens.  Now having said that, do you grow from it.  Yes.  Does that make it easier?  No. Some days it's just about one foot in front of the other.  And that is okay.  Forward is where it is at. I am reading Ronda Roussey's book (I know an odd choice for me, but I absolutely love autobiographies because I love to see what makes people at the top of their field "tick"); anyways I am going to summarize this a bit so don't quote me, but she talks about not really believing the "everything happens for a reason" philosophy, BUT instead in believing in HOPE, that all the struggles, all the frustrations, all the strife - - in the end, WILL BE WORTH IT.  I think that is where I am too, otherwise what's the point.  And the "hope", that is what keeps you hanging on, even if by a thread.

2.  You never know what people are going through, be gentle and kind.  If there is one thing that I think I have developed over the last 6 months it is a keen awareness of other people.  Not that its my job or yours to provide psychological support to everyone you run in to; not only a) do I not want to do this, b) 99% of people would say get away and c) the outcome would be very bad 😜  But, I do think we can quietly just be aware of our effect on others.  I think I have always been pretty in tune with reading others, but more with those I am close too.  Now more then ever I feel like its just as important to be gentle and kind to the person next to you in line at the grocery store as anyone else.  You could be the straw that breaks the camel's back, OR the ray of light they needed at that very moment that gets them through the day.    Some people have an ability to grind through pain (physical, mental,or emotional) without missing a beat.  They can work, train, coach, parent, etc. without anyone knowing - - but the pain they have, the battle they are facing HURTS.  They would never tell you, they would never reach out ....but they could use you, even if just your smile that says, "hey I know you have crap going on, stay strong".

3.  Never.Ever.Give.Up.  Honestly, I don't think I buy the whole "it's part of the journey" thing anymore.  I mean if that was true I feel like I have been on an expedition up Mt. Everest.  But I do know what I want.  And I do know why I want it.  So I will keep chasing it.  The day I question what I am doing, why I am doing it, then I'll hang it up.  Until then I run.  Never stop chasing something you can't go a day without thinking about.

From here it's baby steps, I hate to say this is a waste of a year, hopefully I am gaining something from this year, even if just more mental strength.  I kind of want to put the rest of this year in my coach's hands and just focus on keeping the big picture in mind, and letting him own the stair steps there.  I can climb with the best of them, but sometimes I get lost knowing where to climb.  The good news is, we are now climbing versus getting pummeled by snow at the bottom of the mountain👍

I hope to write sooner, with good news, positive progress, and more defined goals/plans.  But for now I am in that lost in limbo phase still figuring it out 😎  And I am okay with that (for a little bit)!

Happy. Trails,
CB

Not out of Breath Yet...

I should be packing for my trip to LA right now.        I am not.

I should be talking with Adam planning out last minute race strategy.      I am not.

I should be visualizing the expo, the start, the miles, the pace, the finish of LA.    I am not.

I should be feeling like crap now (because I am tapering).   I am (but not from tapering).

Instead "life" happened, and LA is just not in the cards.  LA was supposed to be #myperfect........but there's "not perfect" and there's stupid.  Running LA at this point falls in the "stupid" category.  Can I have a mulligan on the last 3 months? 😓

And so I just roll with the punches.    I recently asked myself if the setbacks "suck"  so much because I can't run or because I feel like they make my dream seem so far away.  It's the later  - I really do want it.  It really is what I fall asleep thinking about and rising early to chase.  The journey might be the most important part, and I get that, but it is the end destination that makes me feel alive.  The path there is making me who I am, connecting me through the dots of life,  and a hell of a ride......but there probably are a lot easier "dreams" to chase with the same effect.  But this is my dream.  I chose it. I want it.  I still believe in it.

I should be packing for my trip to LA right now.  When I pack for my next race, I will be grateful.

I should be talking with Adam planning out last minute race strategy.      When we talk the next race strategy I will be stronger, it will be a better one anyway.

I should be visualizing the day before, the start line, the miles, the finish of LA.    I am visualizing the OT's instead; heck that's the bigger fish to fry anyway.

I should be feeling like crap right now (because I am tapering).     I am feeling super grateful for all the people in my life who have, are, or will support me as I chase my dream.  I am one lucky duck 😉

#myperfect

Well, that was fun.  😢  The great thing about bone injuries, is that as long as you behave-  there is a clear timetable.  6-8 weeks.  It doesn't make those weeks anymore pleasant; but you can grind through it because you know there is a finish line.

Here's a quick snapshot of the 8 weeks; I am posting this for all the folks out there who google "4th metatarsal fracture" seeking, hoping, someone says - - it heals in a week!  So for all those people who got here via google - know this, it doesn't heal in a week, but YOU GOT THIS.  

Week one:  Standard denial, "I think I just sprained my bone on the rock, can't be a break", got xray, got boot, reality sunk in, followed by depression.  Hit the pool.

Week two:  Out of the boot because it was messing with my hips too much; told to wear stability shoe.  Started pool running and swimming, and basically hating life.  Started PT.  Tried Alter G - OUCH!  Not sure how Danthan Ritz ran the same day he had a fracture on that sucker, I felt it, and it was not good.

Week Three:  Hard core PT - - lots of stim, ice, and this thing called BFR (Blood flow release) to keep muscles strong.  Dr. Maynard doing everything he can to keep hips even.  No pain anymore.  Got up to 2 miles in the pool (at one time).   Hating Life even more if that is possible.

Week Four:  Did Alter G at 20% BW- NO PAIN!  Sweet, mood improving, just being able to run helps.  1/2 way through.  Did two really killer pool workouts.  Here is one in case you need a good one!
10 minute warm-up then 6 sets of 1:00/:30, :45/:15, :30/:30) then 5 minute tempo, then 6 sets of :90 snowballs, each :30 faster, 1:00 rest in between, then just tempo until 70 minutes

Week  Five:  17.5 miles on the Alter G - end of week at 75% BW!  

Week Six:  54 miles, 8 on LAND!  Mental mind games, will I ever run without obsessing over this?

Week Seven:  66 miles, 39 on LAND!!!  Worst part is the mental part; but just happy to be working my way back.

Week Eight:  68 miles, 51 on LAND!!  I think I beat the mental piece, I barely think about my foot anymore.  Graduated from PT too.  I actually might miss that place.  It's funny how when you go to a place so much you start to get to know all the people  - a new cast of characters  - - communities are so interesting to me.  They get you through life.

Things that worked (well at least I think they did):
1)  Took extra calcium supplement, ate broccoli almost every day, and contrary to what most think I actually ate more calories then less - I personally believe your body is working overtime to heal whatever you messed up🙈 This is not the time to scrimp.
2)  Having the Alter G - I think bone stimulation actually helps the bone grow faster  - plus I think you avoid a lot of the come back aches and pains by staying in running motion, heck I was able to run still!
3)  Dr. Maynard/Becky - or a really good chiropracter - keeping your hips even is CRITICAL.  Everything heals faster.
4)  Breakdowns, at  least once a week 😭
5)  Read books about overcoming adversity - sepcifically the book GRIT - helped me realize why I never, ever give up. It's in my DNA.
6)  Not pushing everyone OUT of your life.  I stayed on social media, volunteered at stuff, and thank God for YOGA and PILATES 😉.  Speaking of hot yoga,  I think that really helped get blood flow in my foot - which is a hard spot to get new blood circulating.
7)  Coach - Adam seems to be more in the details and more tuned in when things are NOT going well, versus when they are.  Having him really in the zone throughout this whole process helped me a lot mentally and emotionally.  He stayed positive throughout.

In fact, it was his positivity that helped me get to #myperfect 😊  I posted this link on instagram and the amount of texts and emails I got afterward confirmed I should DO this.  

https://www.instagram.com/p/BPYPnLahzZoGMNVf-EB8PGKxpPc6JO94pQjSxY0/?taken-by=runningcb

I am a little weary of sharing this, but this blog is about brutal honesty so I figured it is only fair.  I tend to have some perfectionist tendencies.  If it is not exactly how it should be, I don't. 

• Every race needs to have the perfect training cycle, if I am not at my standards for performance, I back out.  I can't just run it.
• Every workout I have to nail or exceed the prescribed splits, or the rest of the day I beat myself up over it.
• Every presentation, project, or meeting at work has to be perfect or the swirl in my head explodes.
• The bed spread has to have no wrinkles in it every morning or I re-do it; Justin will never understand this.

Is this a fault?  Maybe. I probably previously would have said yes; but now I think it's partially how I have gotten to where I am.  Tell me no, I'll show you yes.  Tell me to do XX, and I'll do XX or more.  And if I don't I will stay until I do.  I am driven to sick levels.  BUT, I think there are times where this same strength holds me back from learning, from experiencing, from living.

So I am going to go through with our initial plan to run the LA Marathon on 3/19.  I realize and understand goals and expectations need to be modified.  I respect that I am not going to have the perfect training cycle in regards to time or workouts.  I accept the risk of going out there, and making a fool out of myself.  AND. I. AM.STILL.DOING.IT.  The LA Marathon is going to be #myperfect.  It is going to be the best I can do with what I have.  And it's going to be fun as hell.  I am not worrying about what everyone else's workouts, splits, training is/are - - I am focusing on the 10 week cycle I have, the amazing, now healthy body I have, and the journey that I am in.

It's, well, #myperfect.  So here we go....

I will not DNS LA....I made a commitment last year I wouldn't let it happen, so it won't✌

2016 in the books, speaking of books, and the path ahead!

Well that happened fast, 2016 already in the books.  It seems like everything I read is talking about how excited everyone is for the year to be over and how much they cannot wait for 2017.  2016 was actually very good to me (minus the last month #yuck) and I will forever have some GREAT memories!  In a year of Instagram for me, here are a few of my favorites....

This Spring coaching these girls was one of the highlights of my life for sure :)  I still think about them everyday.

In May I ran my first real race back - at Bolder Boulder - it was a pretty much perfect weekend.

My sister, and my 3 nieces/nephews came - and my coach :)

I have to include this one, because this sign is now framed in one of our rooms!

I married my  best friend, and this truly was "thee best day of my life"

My girls at rehearsal dinner... Missing is my sister (probably chasing one of her amazing kids around)  - but these girls are so special, absolutely salt of the earth.

The Chicago Training Cycle with W, one I will never ever forget, we literally ran stride for stride all summer long - at 4 in the morning, in ridiculous heat, through the ups, downs, through it all.

And CHICAGO!  No words can capture how hard I worked to get back here.  It was a very special day.  And hopefully a harbinger of what's to come.

And Yes folks - the CUBS WON THE WORLD SERIES.  NO. FURTHER.COMMENT.

Unfortunately, the honeymoon foot incident put a bit of a damper on the end of the year, and most of my vacation time has been consumed with PT and rehab; but it doesn't seem like work to me because it's my dream, it's my passion, it's my breath.  New Years' Day marks 5 weeks, and I am getting very close to being able to hit the roads again; I can taste it.   Injury for an athlete can almost take your voice away; so I have been reading a lot.  Here is "CB's Book Review" - if you are interested ;)

From Left to right:
1)  Dandelions Growing Wild:  This is a running read - BUT I think anyone would love it.  Talk about overcoming adversity - dang.   To me it seems that some people get A LOT to overcome, and knock them down one by one, and some just get small little pebbles.  Either way it doesn't matter, what you get is YOUR journey and you walk it as only you WOULD and you COULD.

2)  GRIT:  Awesome read about what drives some people to no end, why some people are so GRITTY, why they are GRITTY, and what GRIT means.   Now first a disclaimer, I don't necessarily think GRIT is 100% a good thing.  I think GRIT can be overwhelming and all consuming.  But I do think it is important to understand if you have it, so you can understand why you are* (as insane as you are).    It was funny as I read this I related to every single story - never the smartest or fastest, but always the grittiest.  I think it helped me actually in the last few weeks understand why I do what I do - why I am so driven, so focused, so disciplined - to a fault at times.  There is a quote in the book that just totally resonated with me:

"It sometimes feels like we have nothing left to give, and yet, in those dark and desperate moments, we find that if we just keep putting one foot in front of the other, there is a way to accomplish what all reason seems to argue against."

3)  How Bad Do You Want It?  This is a strict sports Psychology book, that I wouldn't recommend unless you are competing in something.  It might be boring otherwise.  My favorite nugget from this one is EXPECTIONS are everything - if you expect and embrace the "pain cave" to come; you almost get a thrill from it.  Never get too cocky or too complacent - assume its coming, embrace it, and take it head on.  Makes me ready to take on my next race :)-

4)  You are a Bad Ass  Oh man, no matter what, read this!  I loved this book, totally a kick in the pants - and gets you riled up to create YOUR life.  We often are a results of our past experience and upbringing - which can be a great thing - but you also have to set your own mental paths for what you can and cannot do.  I have been told NO a lot, and believed it.  I think physically I can qualify for the O trials - it's been the mental piece that has stopped me in my tracks.  This put a few new tools in my toolbox to tackle that!

5)  When Breath Becomes Air:      Absolutely oustanding book about a Dr. whose goal is to integrate the patient's feelings and emotions (basically bedside manner) with the science.  My opinion only**  But there are very few doctors who have both, if you find one, you are blessed.  Ironically, during the course of the journey he himself is diagnosed with cancer - and everything he has spent his whole life working towards; now he never gets to use.  As he dies rather swiftly after diagnosis.  A book about not waiting until the perfect moment to do something - because you might not get tomorrow, a book about legacy, and the impact, the purpose, the meaning of YOUR life, a book about life - and the purpose of living.  A deep one, but a GREAT one.

6)   Man's Search for Meaning:    So this was REALLY deep, recommended to me from a list of books you must read.  It was intersting for sure.  The author was actually a prisoner in the Holocaust and he survives (obviously :) - - Essentially the whole book is that you can survive ANYTHING if you have a greater purpose - if you feel you are alive to do something, to achieve something, to be there for someone.  It can be your meaning in life is to be a phenomenal parent, leader, business owner, or it could be to qualify for O Trials, or a cancer saving doctor - it doesn't matter - what matters is that DRIVES you day in and day out to be the best you can be; and sometimes that means just surviving.  Deep - but good.


So, 2017 - the path ahead!  I am more focused and determined then ever to continue chasing my dream.  I feel like every year I gain more GRIT, more experience, more miles in the bank that will pay off.  In the short term, first things first is to get healthy and back to the roads; which is very close.  I have been running on the Alter G - and close to my full body weight.   Past that, my goal is still to run on 3/19 - - but I need to learn to be okay with not having a perfect training cycle; as obviously I am already behind.  I am going to take it one day at a time; and do whatever it takes to get to the line.   Then spend the Spring and Summer getting faster; focusing on a Fall 1/2 marathon PR - - all leading to my goal race in January 18.  
I also am excited to announce I will be coaching again this Spring! As for work - continuing  to be the best leader I can be - building our regional team to be as strong as possible.  And in every thing I do, my goal is to get out of my head - - focus on me, and what I am doing in the very moment; not worrying about everyone else, the next task,  the next day, but be present, be happy, be alive TODAY...because that is the only thing for certain.

All the best  - here's to an amazing 2017 for all!
xoxox
CB

Sigh......................GULP.

Yea.  Lately those are about the only two verbal reactions I can muster.  :(    My next post was supposed to be a super happy one, a random update on training, a 1/2 marathon race recap, and perhaps plans for the Spring...and an exciting Honeymoon adventure story.  But then, well life happened.  As usual, what I planned never came to fruition.  And you think I would be used to it by now, but for some reason - it never gets easier, just more routine. I know exactly how to dig myself out, how to grind, how to get back.  But unfortunately, for the dream I am chasing you don't get points for comebacks, only consistency, progress, and victories.

After Chicago, I bounced right back into training and the consistency and all my prehab/strength work was finally paying off - I felt AMAZING.  Off to Kauai and then when I came back, I was really excited to do some serious damage in a 1/2 marathon.  Life was GRAND.

Kaui was definitely not your typical lay on the beach vacation - it was an amazing adventure!

the only sunny day we had we made the most of (trust me, no sun, CB does NOT do water, I am always cold) This was an awesome snorkeling adventure!

The runs were absolutely epic here, you would be running in a sunny sauna, then pouring rain, then a rain forest, then a desert, it was like 10 different ecosystems in one run.  Crazy.

We hiked the "Sleeping Giant" in pouring rain, but it was still amazing!

This was the Waimea Canyon Hike, we took the  unbeaten path and found this gem!

Just chilling on a rock at the edge of a cliff.

And then the next day I was a moron, it was pouring rain, and after probably pushing myself too hard at a morning track session in ridiculous rain/wind we went hiking - - and I stepped down, way down, on a rock in  the water and I knew immediately.  Of course, I ignored it, I didn't want Justin to know, but I knew.  I broke something.  24 hours later I really knew.

What I will not do is be fake with you.  I do not think anyone reads blogs to read a bunch of fluff.  This is real - or I would not do it.  Having said that, this entry is more for me then updating friends and family :(  It is so much easier for me to write my way through life then actually say it.  I'm absolutely, positively, 100% devastated.  I spent my entire 2015 fighting, fighting, fighting to come back.  2016 was amazing, and then one very, silly step at the end now zeroes out all the work, all the progress, I had made.    And at the same time.  I know:  that.is.life.  
The good news is setbacks like this sometimes make you step back and look at things - and the MRI and blood tests show my bones are strong as hell, everything is in the right thresholds, and it was just a freak accident.  And so you motor on.  I know how to do this, I know how to keep my fitness in the pool, I have an amazing doctor in Dr. Maynard who is my lifeline  throughout this, I know how to rehab, and God knows why but I have a coach who still believes in me, even when right now when I am struggling with believing in myself.    I'll be back. Because it is in the journey  that dreams are made.  And man, will I have one hell of a journey to look back on.  When I went through the ankle injury in 2015 I had 4 phrases I said every single day that drove me to keep fighting, to not give up.  I never stopped saying them actually, but now I cling to them more then ever.
#closerthanIthink
#plantednotburied
#seasonofincreases
#thebestisyettocome

I know it's nuts, I know I am nuts.  I should hang it up, it's not happening.  But I can't, I won't, I want it too bad.  Maybe more now then ever before if that is even possible.

xoxo
CB

Chicago Marathon Recap

I've held off writing a marathon recap because depending on the day I am either content with how it went or find myself wishing I had done more.  

I flew back to Chicago early to get adjusted to the time zone change and humidity  - but also because it's home, and any opportunity to spend time with family is worth it!  I was glad I did because I was able to get some pre-race inspiration from friends.  I got to see Mrs. Cyr (whom I ran the race for) and I got to run with a good friend from my hometown, Jill.  Between those two connects and hanging with mom a little bit, my heart was full to the brim going into Saturday morning!

Late Friday, W, Pete (waterboy #1), and Justin (waterboy #2) arrived - all separately of course because that would be too easy to come at once :)  We had a blast watching the Cubbies win, and I single-handedly would like to take the credit for that win as I had everyone cross their fingers at the appropriate time when Baez hit a home run!  Then off to bed as we had a big day ahead of us on Saturday.

My standard Cubs Game watching uniform these days - Cubs PJ's and red/blue painted toenails - it worked - Cubs Won!

The Gang at my mom's Friday night - the 4 of us have spent a lot of time together over the last year; probably the best part of this whole journey for me.

Saturday proved to be AMAZING - perhaps maybe too amazing for the day before a marathon, but honestly, I cannot say I regret any of it.  As a Skechers athlete I got the opportunity to do a shakeout run with him, and W came too!  More inspiration from, in my humble opinion, one of the best marathon runners of all time.  A friend/mentor set up lunch for us as well; which was just another amazing piece of this journey.  I know there is a lot of negative out there, but I believe people are truly awesome, throughout the year time and time again I have seen people go out of their way to support, fuel, enable my dream.  

Just you know me, a Skechers teammate, and Meb (Insert emoji with hand over head)

Just you know #2....lunch with Meb!

After that we hit up the expo and then Justin and I went to this really cool Mass they do at Holy Name Cathedral downtown for the marathon runners.  It's pretty neat, the priest customizes the homily and then he blesses all the runners and you get a bracelet.  More inspiration!

Then, staying true to routine we went back to the hotel where I made my own pasta - just like I always do- before my long runs.  Mentally I wanted to tell my body  - this was just another long run. 

That night unfortunately I think I slept an hour.  BRUTAL.  But I never let sleep the night before bother me because once I read that it doesn't matter, 2 nights before DOES,  - so you know since I read that, it's true right? :)

Sunday I did not need an alarm obviously, and I got up and did my usual UCAN bar + caffeinated tea (this time seasonally appropriate Pumpkin Spice Tea).

EXPO FUN:  That's me just running along my 2 favorite runners Kara and Meb :)-

This is the Mass I was referring to, Justin took this, I am the one in red (of course) #favoritecolor

All ready to go the night before, this one for Mrs. Cyr

This year W and I qualified for the Elite Development Corral/Tent (WHICH WAS SWEET) - our own bathrooms, bag check, hydration, warm-up area, etc.  We walked the mile from the hotel and W and I did a quick shakeout run, and then bathroom.  Without details - all systems "a go" - things had played out perfectly :)

From there we were "escorted" to the start, and the rest was blur, before I knew it the gun went off and we were running.

The goal was to run steady 6:30's through about 20 and then let it rip if feeling good.  Take in calories at 5,10,15,and 20, and water as much as possible.

Here's the positives:

• I felt great running - like I was walking
• I NAILED THE FUELING!!  Stomach felt great, took in calories like clockwork at 5,10,15,20
• I never hit the wall with the total physical and mental bonk - THANK YOU UCAN!

Here's the frustrations:

• Pacing.  Again.  &^(**(&!  My watch went kafluey after the first tunnel and I was having a hard time judging pace -after reviewing the splits with Adam this week, it was my same old pacing issues, 2 miles that were completely out of control fast which killed me later on.
• Hydration.  I was SO focused on calorie intake I kind of ignored the hydration piece, just sipping at water stations to get the calories down.  I think this was really the nail in the coffin.
• At 18 my legs got stiff and I felt like I was going 600 pace, and it was really more like 640 pace....so at 20 I knew there would be no "ripping it", and I had REALLY been looking forward to that.

I wish I had the split for my last 800M. I saw Mrs. Cyr and she just LIT me up, I know I sprinted in, and at least I felt like I did :)

When you cross the line in Chicago, it's very isolated.  The bandstands are closed to the general public for security reasons so there are literally THOUSANDS of people (who bought tickets) cheering you - and you don't know any of them.  When I crossed the line, I crouched down... and was a little overwhelmed with emotion.  Thinking about the journey there and the journey Mrs. Cyr is running right now.   A medical staffer came over and wanted to know if I was ok, and when I responded yes I was fine, she looked at me, and said, "Oh yes, those are tears of joy!  :)

And they were.....You never really know what lies on the other side of the finish line.  2 years ago I crossed and thought I was well on my way to qualifying for the O Trials.  Within months my world spun downward with my injury and I spent 2 years climbing my way just to get back to running a marathon, much less racing for 2:45.  And as I spent months fighting it, and questioning it, I learned that happiness in life is learning to just accept "it."  Because, well, that is the life journey.  That is "it".  And how you respond to "it" - determines the quality of life you have. 

So as I started this recap I was thinking geez my reactions to Chicago are a mixed bag, Yes I got a PR, but I was in shape to run 2:48, I know it.  That was a lot of work to come up feeling a tad short.  I have to address the pacing and hydration; and I am confident I can and will.  But sitting here now? It's not mixed.  I made progress, I learned a ton this training cycle on fueling, pacing, strength training, post run recovery, and nutrition.  I made the most of what I was given, and in the process got to train with the best possible training buddy you could ask for.  The best is yet to come, I believe that.  I am closer than I think.  
I know it's cliche, but I want to end this recap with thank you's.  It truly takes a village, and I would love to hug a lot of people for this race.  To Becky, Doc Maynard, Tara, and Brent for getting and keeping me healthy.  To Kerry, Erika, Jen, Lauren and my sister for being my biggest supporters.  To W for the early mornings, brutal workouts, and just plain fun.  To Ashlea, Shelly, Katie, Paul, Rachel, Emily, and Danielle for keeping me strong and flexible - 2 opposing strengths, difficult to merge.  To Adam my coach for putting up with me, believing in me, and getting me back.  To Skechers for sticking with me and enabling me to do what I do.  To my parents for their endless support and love.  To Justin, my best friend, and the reason I am so "full" right now :), and to Mrs. Cyr - my hero, my inspiration, and the deserved recipient of the finish line medal. Not every race would have this many dramatic thank you's but this one does because it was two years in the making!

Justin and I - -just knowing he is out there puts me at ease.

The gang at the end.

A training cycle/year I will NEVER forget.

#5minutesdown9togo

2 weeks and counting!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well the taper has begun and so that means, I actually have time...it's crazy, how much time training is part of my life and I don't even realize it.  But now that I find myself having a few more minutes to spare it's the perfect time to catch up on things; one of them being a blog update.

Most people know by now, but I am running the Chicago Marathon on October 9th!  I am pretty excited, grateful, anxious, and JACKED about this one!!!

Training Cycle

This by far has been the best training cycle I have ever had.  It has truly made me appreciate the journey and not the outcome.  I literally went from not being able to walk to running 85+ miles a week.  It is so humbling to think literally almost a year ago today I was probably at the lowest point in my life.  I saw my dream - what was left of it - slipping between my fingers.  I could not get my ankle to heal in time, and after 9 months of forcing it, forcing it, forcing it,  I finally decided to shut it down in November; but man was I lost.  I had invested so much in it, made major life decisions and choices to chase it, and 2015 had literally taken the air out of me.  Where now? You know the story from previous blogs, but I picked myself back up as painful as it was and rehabbed.  Becky got me back running, and created a pre and post run routine that I still do.  Every.single.day.  My coach built me back, painfully slow, but day by day.  Looking back at my log, it's so gratifying to see.  I told him just the other day, this is probably the first time in my life I tangibly saw myself evolve - both mentally and physically.  Last year it was like part of me died, this year it was a "re-birth" :)

As the weeks built, so did my confidence, my engine, and my passion.  We did not race much, as the goal was October and to get there I needed an engine.  So we focused a lot on mileage and specific pace work for our goals.  I got to see workouts that I once saw as daunting (ahem...tempo runs, 10 x 1k, 19 milers) become fun, become doable....become achieveable.  In fact, I think a huge milestone for me was a barn burner workout.  It was triple digits, heat of the summer here, and it was 3 x 5k....yes you read that right.  And after it was done, I knew it.  I knew that my dream would happen.  It's not an "if" anymore, it's a "when".    And so here we are.  It's funny because I just told Justin this morning, I have had 38 weeks (since Jan 16th) to train for Chicago.  This is more then ANY marathon training plan, right? Yet I still feel caught off guard!  It's here, what?  I still need more time to practice fueling, I need to race more, I....but as Adam reminds me the big picture is qualifying for the Olympic Trials.  Chicago is a stepping stone there.  Take the first step.  And I cannot tell you how excited I am to be taking it.  This is my 'Olympics', 'Superbowl', 'Big dance'.  I have never fought so hard to get back, to be where I am at, to be looking at Chicago head on.  With a huge frikkin grin on my face :)

Me and my coach at Bolder Boulder 10k in May....this guy is like a big brother, coach, cheerleader, hero all in one.  No one knows me better as a runner then him. No one.  He means the world to me.

1/2 Marathon Recap - Simulation Run

Last weekend, W and I (W is my teammate training partner who I will share more on in a few seconds if you can put up with this part), had the opportunity to do a simulation 1/2 marathon run 3 weeks out.  Goal was to not race, just run the thing at marathon pace.  Do you know how hard that is....OMG.  Hardest thing I have ever done, I was on my best behavior to treat this as a business trip.  The weekend was a blast, we flew in together, went out to eat together, and ran together.  Just like we will on game day.  The goal was 6:30 pace,  and if I do say so myself we nailed it!  Came in at 6:29 pace....and we managed to both podium, 2nd and 3rd.  If you know me, you can understand how hard it was not to race this with 1st place being within reach.  But when you hear your coach's voice in your head, and he means so much to you, you behave :)  Mission accomplished.  The taper began.

Post race shenanigans, that stupid sign says "running buddy" - if only you knew the drama associated with that picture #technologystillaworkinprogressformom

Training Partner

I think in 'running' life you probably get the opportunity once, maybe twice to find a training cycle and partner that matches.  I received a huge gift when "W" entered the picture.  We were teammates when she was on SDP; and after I got injured she would text me all the time to check in.  She knew the pain (more mental then physical) behind watching your dream slip away.  She kept asking me to run, and once I started back and could run 6 miles (I mean what's the point of putting on your shoes for less then  that ;) she was the first person I called.  We ran the canal and grabbed acai bowls afterwards.  We ran again, and again, and again.  And finally I asked her if she wanted to train together.  And the rest is history.  As dorky as it sounds we have the WHOLE cycle captured on Instagram, it's hilarious.  At first it was a joke, but now looking back it's cool.   You can literally look at all the pictures and remember the workouts,  anxieties, highs, lows, humor, and aftermath.  Forever documented via hashtag!  We trained SO tightly together month after month through the AZ heat, through the mental ups and downs, through 4am wake-ups, through laughter, through frustration, through dreamy eyes.  When I was down, she picked me up.  When she was down, I tried to make her laugh at least.  I learned so much from her, not just about running, but about nutrition, about life, about the journey.  I know W better then most people know their sister.  I can tell you by her texts what is going on.  It's incredible what hundreds of miles in silence and in words can create between 2 people.  Trust me I care about Chicago.  But even if it wasn't my day, I would still walk away fulfilled from what I got out of this training cycle. I'll never forget this year.

My first run back in February, the beginning of the most amazing journey ever.

Why Chicago?

So with 2 weeks to go, one last thought.  Why Chicago?  Many have asked if I was ready to race months ago, why wait for this one.  Or why train through the AZ heat, why didn't you wait and do something in December.  It's easy for me.  Chicago, is much more than just another race.  First, it's home.  It's core to who I am.  My Midwest personality, my work ethic, my accent....it's all Chicago.  My family means everything to me, and they are Chicago.  They grew up there, the Cubs are there, and as silly as it sounds the Cubs are so much more then Baseball, we grew up with them on.  Second, Chicago is Justin and I's (is that proper grammar?) city.  The Chicago Marathon that we ran for his mom brought us together, it's where we got married, and it's our common love.  Finally, 2 years ago I finished the Chicago Marathon wishing I had done more, feeling like I didn't quite achieve what I was capable of...little did I know that the time in between that day and today....well who knows what I thought, but good grief not the way I envisioned it :)  I will admit that crossing the line 2 weeks from today will mean a lot, I have never worked harder, been more focused, to get back.  I cannot wait.   I have some unfinished business to attend to :)

Sunday October 9th this year too will have even more meaning then 2 years ago.  I've talked several times in my blog about my hero, Mrs. Cyr, a breast cancer survivor.  She is tiny - but fierce.  If you knew all that she has accomplished, yet all that she has been through, you would be in awe.  She is such a fighter.  This race is for her, every single mile, is for her.  The race she is running is way tougher than mine, but I have learned so much from her fight, her will, her attitude.  Sometimes I think half of the game of life is just staying in the game, to keep standing, to keep fighting and not giving up.  Again, while my race pales in comparison to hers, Sunday is about that pride....never throwing the towel in, pushing right back, hanging on tight.....until you can climb right back in and run again.  She did.  She will.  And I am.

(Insert picture of me and Mrs. Cyr...I don't have one....we'll have to fix that on 10/9)  :)

#herewego

xoxo

CB