Abby Wambach is one of my favs, along with Mikaela Shiffrin, Deena Kastor, & Kara Goucher. Each for different reasons, but each of them has something deep inside them that is different than everyone else, a fire, a purpose that is incomprehensible to most. The most beautiful part is that like most legends in any field, if you asked them about it, they likely would not be able to articulate exactly what "it" is. But that is the beauty of watching them from a far, if you are in tune enough, you see it, you "get" it. I am reading Abby's book now and this quote stuck with me as I was thinking about what I wanted 2018 to be. 2018 is time to get to the good stuff.
I have (3) goals for 2018; they're broader than I usually make them....usually it's run X time, qualify for X, race X. But I went in a totally different direction this year, and I love these more than any goal(s) I have ever set.
1. Rediscover Joy. I think somewhere lost in the race of life, I lost the pure joy in it. I think that happens when you are in "fight" mode most of the year. But, 2018 so far has been about happiness, and finding joy again. I am a high achiever, and in running, work, and relationships I think I often let the pressure exceed the pleasure of what I am doing. I am going back to why I fell in love with all the things I do in the first place, and starting there. So what does that mean? Lots of things, and I have lots of mini goals and milestones, but for example:
- Being "with" more: calling more, visiting more, I am a huge introvert, but the relationships I do have mean so much to me, and so I want to be with those people more and not think of it as another thing to do. My mom always says all you have is the moments...and I don't know how many I have left, none of us do, so I want more...selfishly 😊
- Laughing more: I think I laughed more in the month of January so far then I did in all of 2017. I love to laugh, but caught in the fight all last year, I.was.so.serious. I have so much, an amazing family, a fulfilling job, the sport of running (which has brought me remarkable friendships, sponsors, memories, and happiness), and best of all, I married my best friend...which I still wake up everyday and pinch myself that I get to pal around with this guy all the time (the humor between the two of us enough to cause daily happy tears). 😆
- Racing more: This is my pure running one, I started running to fill the competitive void from softball. I.love.to.compete. I love to race, I love the feeling of testing myself, I love going into that pain cave and reaching deeper than anyone thought I could. And somewhere in the last few years that has gotten lost. Racing became a chore, a rare check in, the big focus to qualify for the trials of course. And that is still the big goal, but I am racing a lot more this year, and as a result I won't always be race ready - and that's okay, my heart will make up for it ❤ When you race you make yourself vulnerable, and the faster you get the more eyes are on you, the more vulnerable you become. But if there is one thing I learned in 2017 it's that no matter what I still have hugs waiting at the line, regardless of what I do, and those are the real awards that matter.
And so, most know this by now, but I am racing Boston! And not that social media should be ANY kind of validation, but it was definitely a sign to me that I made the right decision! After posting this the amount of support...and even lodging love I got was ridic cool. (**Literally, my Boston Buddy Kelly commented "stay with me!", and back to point #1 about "being with" I feel so comfortable around her, I cannot think of a better race situation, my heart is full just thinking about it...)
2. Recovery. This one is simple. I am really good at doing the little things that are part of training full time....massage, foam rolling, strength, etc. What I am not so good at➩Sitting.Still. Every time I want to sit down I begin to think, I should...get the mail, vacuum, pay the bills, get gas in my car, grocery shop, get email, etc. And after reading Peak Performance (great book) over break, I realized probably the most important part of recovery is not all the other things that are part of the "gig"....but truly letting your mind and body rest. So what does this mean....****trying to catch myself when I am in tornado mode, and asking Justin if he wants to grab dinner, or just sitting next to him when he watches all his ridiculous shows (this has only happened once so far and I think he was shell shocked)...and my biggest one right now, is at night I typically try to "clean up email" which turns into another hour of work, so instead I am reading, which usually results in sleeping, but whatever, it's the effort 😉
****marketing disclaimer: this is a work in progress
|this is still my all time favorite picture from our honey moon last year....I was being me thinking of what to do that day for our "itinerary" and we sat down to eat acai bowls at this table....talk about smack you in the face!|
3. Regain my mental mojo! This one actually came from my coach. As we debriefed 2017 and I asked him what he would like to see in 2018, that was his first response...mental confidence. I don't like to think that I used to be "cocky"; but I used to have at least an internal swagger...maybe it was cocky, I hope not, that let me know no matter what on game day, I would deliver. Whether it was a test, a game, an interview, a race, or a meeting. As long as I prepared properly, I had it, no question. Somewhere along the way, I have lost that. My mojo. Not only am I less confident outwardly....more importantly, internally I am constantly doubting myself. And I have been preparing harder then ever lately. As I started to think through "why" - I guess it's because there are only so many times you can get knocked down before the knees get wobbly getting back up. But 2018 I am going back to my roots....I didn't get to where I am because of luck...I earned it. I am not 100% sure how this manifests itself yet to be honest, but for starters I have started to read a lot of sports psychology books...and just reminding myself⇨I. Belong.
So the 3 R's (I didn't do that to be creative, it's so I remember them😂) are my focus for 2018. And I have never been more energized, more excited, more happy to be alive and kicking than THIS year.
2018, bring it ON....it's time for the GOOD stuff😉