Sunday I raced the Denver RNR. And I bombed it. BIG TIME. Hands down my worst race to date.
Everyone on my "team" has provided me some great excuses to use (it was cold, I tweaked my hammie Friday, altitude, not tapered, and plenty more good ones😊)....
But the truth? It just was not my day...I sucked.
I ran the 1st mile in 6:26, and looked at my watch thinking it would say 5:55, and I knew it was going to be a long day. It was the longest race of my life, every mile dragged on forever, my head wasn't in it, I could not wait to be finished. In fact at mile 7, I was 90% decided to drop out and then I looked at my wrist and reminded myself what TOUGH was. Tough is Mrs. Cyr. And sometimes all you can do is put one foot in front of the other and fight until you are running smoothly again. Well, smooth never came, but I never gave up. Kind of praying I would get my legs back, but instead it was just a battle to the end.
The hardest part of yesterday was disappointment. There are so many people (I don't have to name them because they know exactly who they are, they give so much of themselves) who believe, support, sponsor, and sacrifice for me. And then to give them Sunday....feels not so good😩 There is no possible way to pay them back...ever...but what I can give them is a whole lot better than that.
When I crossed the finish line Justin hugged me, and he went right to the excuses (God love him❤), but I told him, I just plain sucked. He switched my shoes for me because my hands were frozen, and I told him I would meet him at the rental car in 30 minutes. I didn't cry, I didn't think, I was just in a trance. I got about .5 miles from the car and then I definitely cried and threw up in some fancy bush - sorry Denver Art Museum...I felt so overwhelmed, so tired, so pissed, so angry. You see, the hardest part of chasing big dreams, is when you reach so high, you fall so far. And. it. hurts.
But that was yesterday. And no event, no circumstance, no outcome determines who I am. How I respond does. And I know just how to do that. In fact, I just had a track workout that showed me how to rebound😉 #seelastpost
So, today, I put my shoes on and got right back on the roads.
|If you looked up unconditional love in the dictionary, you would see these guys. I love them more then I could ever out into words.|
|Aunt Carrie and Uncle Justin being responsible caregivers to E Sr. and Connor👀|
|There is quite possibly nothing that I love more then putting this on and racing, nothing. And nothing took that away from me Sunday. In fact, it made me love it even more.|