After we got home from the hospital, when the time was right, I asked Justin if he wanted to try and walk to the mailbox. Get some fresh air, & move. I figured we had to start somewhere.
I will never forget that first walk. He had a death grip on my arm; I think I still have the fingerprints embedded in my skin. We moved so slow, it was humbling. We saw our neighbor and the corresponding wide open mouth stare that burned right through me. I remember we made it about half way and he said 'enough'....I couldn't believe it. We hadn't even made it 1/4 mile? 😕 I told him to stay right there and I ran to the mailbox, got the mail, ran back to him and said "OK, our goal is to beat this spot next time". We got back and he slept for what seemed like days.
These mailbox walks became our 'thing' through the healing process. Over time, he crushed the benchmarks, to the point where now we get nasty-grams from the mail person because we don't get the mail for days 👮
I was actually getting one of these the other day, when I went to get the stuffed mailbox on my own 🤣, and it made me think about the "mailbox walk" in regards to running.
In every training cycle I have ever done, what you do in week one, seems like child's play compared to week twenty-one. But in the beginning, everything seems impossible; the paces, the miles, the end goal. However, as weeks pass the impossible, become possible. Just like the mailbox.
The problem is, I/we never take the time to celebrate the mailbox walks. We just want to be 100%, or faster, or farther, or easier - instead of appreciating how far we have come.
Over the 4th of July weekend, after a particularly long and sweaty run, I had a huge craving for a burger 🤷 So we went out and had a huge wake-up call when a car blew a red light as we were crossing the street. The human brain is amazing. I saw it happen, before it happened, and we averted disaster. But, the mental damage was done. Justin was irate. I have to admit, I was shaken too, but it immediately made me realize that was a wake-up call for us - as he was visibly shaking I said, that was to show us how FAR we have come. Look at you Justin Davis. You are walking right now. We need to celebrate our mailbox walks more...or, even at all🙁
I need to eat my own words too.
After Grandma's 1/2 Marathon in MN, I never really wrote a race recap, I figured I said what I needed to on the proverbial post race Instagram 👍: Got my 2 goals, still felt a tad unsatisfied, not sure why. I should have. Writing helps me process my head. I think I would have realized that I, we, us have overcome a lot in the past few years and that was the fastest half I had done since '14. In a lot of ways being at that line was enough. I walked/ran past a lot of mailboxes.
I do think I am more grateful than I have ever been, but there is a difference between grateful (for both of us to be alive and kicking, to be running, to be racing, to be HEALTHY) and appreciating the mailboxes. Appreciating the mailboxes is ....saying damn look how far we have come. It's looking in the rear view mirror and saying WOW. My natural instinct is to always want more, not be satisfied, find the opportunity. I'll never lose that, but perhaps this cycle, appreciating the mailbox walks will take me farther then an endless hunger for more.
Next up?
Chicago RNR July 21. Which is already next Sunday! It has a special place in my heart, it's home. And no matter where I am in life, Chicago is always home. Always. And I have a goal in mind, but I also am trusting the training, trusting the process, and just kind of smiling looking back at the mailbox I passed to get there.
💓
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| I'll look behind me and smile because that's life and I lived it. |
