Sunday, December 4, 2016


Yea.  Lately those are about the only two verbal reactions I can muster.  :(    My next post was supposed to be a super happy one, a random update on training, a 1/2 marathon race recap, and perhaps plans for the Spring...and an exciting Honeymoon adventure story.  But then, well life happened.  As usual, what I planned never came to fruition.  And you think I would be used to it by now, but for some reason - it never gets easier, just more routine. I know exactly how to dig myself out, how to grind, how to get back.  But unfortunately, for the dream I am chasing you don't get points for comebacks, only consistency, progress, and victories.

After Chicago, I bounced right back into training and the consistency and all my prehab/strength work was finally paying off - I felt AMAZING.  Off to Kauai and then when I came back, I was really excited to do some serious damage in a 1/2 marathon.  Life was GRAND.

Kaui was definitely not your typical lay on the beach vacation - it was an amazing adventure!

the only sunny day we had we made the most of (trust me, no sun, CB does NOT do water, I am always cold) This was an awesome snorkeling adventure!

The runs were absolutely epic here, you would be running in a sunny sauna, then pouring rain, then a rain forest, then a desert, it was like 10 different ecosystems in one run.  Crazy.

We hiked the "Sleeping Giant" in pouring rain, but it was still amazing!

This was the Waimea Canyon Hike, we took the  unbeaten path and found this gem!

Just chilling on a rock at the edge of a cliff.
And then the next day I was a moron, it was pouring rain, and after probably pushing myself too hard at a morning track session in ridiculous rain/wind we went hiking - - and I stepped down, way down, on a rock in  the water and I knew immediately.  Of course, I ignored it, I didn't want Justin to know, but I knew.  I broke something.  24 hours later I really knew.

What I will not do is be fake with you.  I do not think anyone reads blogs to read a bunch of fluff.  This is real - or I would not do it.  Having said that, this entry is more for me then updating friends and family :(  It is so much easier for me to write my way through life then actually say it.  I'm absolutely, positively, 100% devastated.  I spent my entire 2015 fighting, fighting, fighting to come back.  2016 was amazing, and then one very, silly step at the end now zeroes out all the work, all the progress, I had made.    And at the same time.  I know:  
The good news is setbacks like this sometimes make you step back and look at things - and the MRI and blood tests show my bones are strong as hell, everything is in the right thresholds, and it was just a freak accident.  And so you motor on.  I know how to do this, I know how to keep my fitness in the pool, I have an amazing doctor in Dr. Maynard who is my lifeline  throughout this, I know how to rehab, and God knows why but I have a coach who still believes in me, even when right now when I am struggling with believing in myself.    I'll be back. Because it is in the journey  that dreams are made.  And man, will I have one hell of a journey to look back on.  When I went through the ankle injury in 2015 I had 4 phrases I said every single day that drove me to keep fighting, to not give up.  I never stopped saying them actually, but now I cling to them more then ever.

I know it's nuts, I know I am nuts.  I should hang it up, it's not happening.  But I can't, I won't, I want it too bad.  Maybe more now then ever before if that is even possible.


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