By now, I think most people who read this (2 or 3? 😏) know I am running Chicago in 4 weeks. I could be really fake and make up some b.s. that for x and y reasons I am not going to be able to qualify, smooth things over, to protect myself. But I am real. That was one thing I promised from the beginning. Authentic. Have the past 5 years gone according to plan to make my dream come true? No. But you can cry about it, or do what all runners do, put one foot in front of the other. Which is what I tried my best to do after getting knocked down too many times to count. I am not going to be stupid. I am going to do exactly what Adam & Kara tell me me to do at Chicago. The race, and the finish line are for Jodi and Justin who have inspired me in their comebacks from cancer and a critical accident. But the last 6 miles. Are mine. And if it's any where close. I am going to leave every single thing left in me on those roads. Everything. This might seem selfish, but the race and the finish belong to Justin and Jodi. But the pain, the dark place, the grind of those last 6 miles that the marathon uniquely gives...those are mine, I want them, for me, for closure.
This training cycle has been the most rewarding of any in 5 years. I am proud of completing my entire racing schedule. I am proud of the behind the scenes work no one sees...3/4/5 am alarms every single day, more sweat then I knew was in me, commitment to strength work, commitment to rest & recovery, mileage that I never reached before, finishing workouts that I was bombing because I COULD, celebrating long runs that I did at paces I never thought I COULD, balancing it all through a very trying year of my life.
I am currently finishing it out with a little altitude camp with Adam & Kara. It leaves nothing on the table. It's knowing I did EVERYTHING I could. It's being around the support and loyalty that has never left my side in 5 years, through thick & thin.
This isn't my last post, but it's the 2nd to last block on the sidewalk.
On October 13th I will leave my heart and soul
out there, and know that whatever happens,
I took that sidewalk farther then I ever could have imagined. But, it doesn't go on forever, and Justin and I have a lot on our plates upcoming that I need to be all in for. So why write this now? I think my biggest regret is not letting people in through it all for help, for support, for hugs. I've been called stubborn a time or two 👀, and I tend to think I can do it all on my own. But, well...maybe putting this out there now, will selfishly put a lot of positive vibes I can pull from in those last 6 miles. I need the help. 💓
So until that sidewalk ends...here's to running to it with everything I got.
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| This is the 25th mile of the Chicago Marathon in 2016. That is Mrs. Cyr's hand that I touched. Sadly, I won't have her there this year. But, I do know she will be watching above. And if she still reads this...I need you Mrs. Cyr. 💗 |
