Current state of mind & Race Recap #2(Santa Monica Classic)

I have 2 different topics here, but one leads into the other, so hang with me; I'll try and make this work😉
Current State of Mind ⇰All About Trust.  Running, a lot like life is all about Trust.
You have to trust the "boss".  There has to be an inherent faith/confidence/belief in your coach's philosophy, programming, game plan or it will never work.  Any athlete that has not 100% bought in to the bigger picture is wrought for coming up short because you spend way too much mental energy wondering, worrying, second guessing.  The same is true in life, if you don't believe in your leader, boss, parent, doctor, significant other then you are not truly able to be your best..at work, in a relationship, in healing, etc.
You have to trust the Process.  This is painful.  You have to trust that all the steps from A to Z will lead to Z, and that it will all be worth it, and it's not a waste of time.  You have to accept that progress is not linear, there are set backs, jump aheads, and everything in between.  You have to stay the course.   The same as in life: relationships, careers, families, healing, all take time.  Letting it play out, growing through the pains, being in it for the long haul is part of it.
You have to trust your Training.  On Game day you HAVE to believe that the hay is in the barn, you did everything you could, you are ready, your body is ready to roll, whether you feel like it or not. You trained for THIS day, and you are ready.  Same with life, all the hours you put in at work, all the time you invested in your family or relationship, all the treatments for an illness, will deliver when it matters.  You'll nail that presentation,  your kid will shine at school, your marriage will start to blossom, your health progress will improve.
You have to trust that you should be doing This.   No matter how passionate you are about a dream,  there are always moments when you question...WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?  Why? Because you invest so much of yourself, and those you love in it.  Those are the moments when you need to let go and do the impossible --> TRUST this is your path.  In other areas, whether it be questioning if this is the right healing course of action, or the right career path, or the right relationship - it is the same thing, right?  These moments when you just question, is this what am I supposed to be doing? Is this my path? Did I take the right turn back there?

Lately, for me, I have been struggling with trusting my body.  Is it ready to go, is it healthy, can it withstand this effort, that run, these miles?  Am I really back?  And I know that this mental swirl is impeding me from fully healing, fully letting go, fully training.  I question every twinge, ache, fatigue, etc....it's a daily grind I hate.

But, I think I just had an epiphany. In all these instances if I ask myself why am I not trusting?   It's a protection mechanism. I don't want to disappoint, fail, get hurt, or burned.

But, in doing so, I am not really living.  Because life is one big trust, right?  You have to let go to live, and trust that what happens is the path.  But worrying about it, what does that do, but hold you back and prevent you from truly living.  And as someone reminded me, what am I protecting myself from? I, not special to anyone else, have an amazing support system.  I have a coach, a family, co-workers, sponsors, mentors, doctors, friends, and random angels that have wrapped their arms around me throughout this journey.  If I fall, they will catch me,  The good old fashioned trust fall.

So with that in mind I stopped wondering if I should, if I could, and I moved forward into the 2nd race of the Jane Cyr Schedule❤ - The Santa Monica Classic.
Justin and I took a long weekend for a mini-vacation and headed to California.  The weather couldn't have been more perfect (78 degrees is 30 cooler, and felt amazing!) We rented bikes and had plenty of time to adventure - the Strand, Venice, the beach, food, and of course acai bowls😊

Here we are checking in, I made Justin do the selfie camera, he was more than pleased to participate ☺

When you love ice cream, but ice cream doesn't love you back, dairy free is the way to go👌especially pre-race😉

So apparently Venice Beach is like Arnold Schwarzeneggar capital and there are these huge muscle gyms on the beach; here I am at 6 AM showing off my guns, just you know making sure no one is around, so I won't scare em away 😉💪

A little beach time; it's truly amazing that in one country we have such diverse climates - from desert to beach in 5 hours!

And  lastly, my proverbial acai bowl; I have to admit it didn't make it high on my list, which still ranks Fruve (Chicago), Nektar (PHX), Vitality Bowls (Denver), and Verve (Seattle)*  (Newly minted)

The race itself was Sunday and did not start until 830 am, which for me is like dinner time👀  But we actually were easily able to sleep in, lately I have been dragging big time, and so it wasn't a problem.   I feel like I have my pre-race routine down to a science:

1.  Get up on the left side of the bed, which involves crawling over Justin (it's good luck)

2.  My UCAN Lemon Lime Hydrate mix  + coffee bean UCAN bar; while I play with my phone

3.  My 5,245 pre-hab exercises that mostly involve cajoling my pesky ankle to play nice

4.  And then hit the road for usually 3 warm-up miles, prior to my dynamic warm-up/strides

It was an exact 3 miles to the start line from our hotel  - perfect.  Justin got on the rental bike next to me, and surprised me as DJ JP and played Eminem on his phone, which provided some great humor ☺ 

As I alluded to before, I have had a difficult time truly trusting I am "back" and so training has been conservative and we by no means had specifically focused against a 10k race - so the goals for me were two-fold:  Sub 40 and Top 10.

Before I knew it the race was off, Adam had been very adamant mile 1 was to be controlled, it was, but I cannot say that exactly nailed the pace he was thinking....but A+ for effort?   6:07 vs. 6:25 💃  I felt great though, and got RIGHT back on track for miles 2/3, in fact exactly what we had laid out.

Now, critical information.  I chose this race for a few reasons, one being it was my sponsor's Skechers race, two, it fit in logically in my progression, and three, perhaps most importantly, it was FLAT.   I thought.👽

I have never encountered a hill (2 mile hill) quite like that in a race.  So that was a buzz kill.  But, once I got over the fact this was not going to a PR course, I dug deep and that's where I started to really gain ground, I love tough stuff where people whine  - I thrive in heat, hills, humidity....it's something about knowing deep down I am 99% heart, grit, grind.  It's where ALL I think about is Mrs. Cyr, and how tough she is, and how this is for her, so tough it out sister.

I was able to salvage 6:30 's for the 2 miles, which on a hill I'll take, and then hit my last mile in 5:55 for 39:05 (6:17 avg pace); which was good for 1st in AG and 5th overall; so both goals accomplished.  Yet of course in my head I had wanted more; which is sick, because what is the point of goals then, but that's how I think.

My Standard Watch picture, at least I'm consistent.

Post race,  I got a cool medal for being 1st AG which I am sending to Mrs. Cyr and then I cooled down with 4 miles, and Justin and I found a local bagel joint that had............amazing peanut butter🙌

Maybe, it's time to trust.

xoxo

CB